The Iggy Pop Condition

Rock star Iggy Pop, 66, filled out his Medicare Part B application this week. No messing with Obamacare for him. On top of that Iggy was happy not to have to list any conditions for it. Thanks, Obama. "I am a fucking pre-existing condition!"

Prior to getting on Medicare, Iggy was always denied health insurance. The "Iggy Pop" condition disqualified him from private insurance.

Aliens Reject Earth

Earth Orbit -- Without actually landing, a team of alien developers have rejected earth as a future location for their species. "We would not exterminate you, as you seem to fear from your fictional accounts that we viewed. No, it was not the mammal population that made our trip out here useless. We are used to warm climates, and could occupy only the very warmest parts of your planet, where we could live in structures without heat or cooling. That, and the actual orbit and the length of your day as well as the too large moon, were the factors that our superiors back home rejected. We have been waiting for a week for their reply due to the vast distance you are from us. The axis tilt of your planet is a bit too big as well. We will report the habitable planet to Galactic Council and collect the small finder's fee. Someone else may come out and investigate now that your galaxy is know to the civilized world."

The leader of the mission, ~~~~^^~~~, stated that the practice that any galactic developer would follow is to wait for the intelligent species of the planet to go extinct before they come in. "Do not fear, primitive mammals."

Meat Puppets CD in Store Comes Close To Selling

Kansas City -- A CD (there for the past six years) in the strip mall store that buys books and media has come out of the case to reorganize the racks, but this week the one and only Meat Puppets CD came out for a whole five minute outing. A customer had some ten 1980s CD's selected, including the Meat Puppets item. The bearded man walked around the store and eventually bought all the CDs, except the Meat Puppets one, left on top of the rack roughly around the M section.

Toto Fan Almost Recovered From Depression

Nashville -- Ed Norton, 48, suffered severe depression in 2010 when Toto broke up. Sure they had broken up before, but this seemed serious. Ed, a shipping clerk at UPS, was obsessed with Toto when they were famous. Once when he was out of a job he followed a tour for a summer and spent his remaining money on gas and tickets, sleeping in interstate rest areas in his car.

Ed also became obsessed with the song Africa. He watches all shows to do with African wildlife of culture.

Coming out of his depression, he was able to see one show with Toto since 2012, but it is not the same without Mike Porcano. However, since Mike is still alive, all fans gave their full support to the band and the tour. Asked about Toto, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? "I bless the rains down in Africa...
gonna take some time to do the things we never have," replied Norton. We think he plans to take a trip to Africa once he recovers fully.

Geddy Lee To Release "Clockwork Bagels"

Toronto -- Rush bass guitarist and vocalist Geddy Lee will release a surprise solo album, "Clockwork Bagels", for Christmas. Having contributed few lyrics so far to the band's catalog, the solo album will focus on bagels. Titles include "Roll The Bagels", "The Temples of Lox", "Mystic Bagel", "A Larger Bagel", "Digital Bagel Oven", "Circumferences"  and "Forking The Bagel", a tribute to Jewish grannies around the world.

Area Woman Gets 50 Dollar Insurance Back

Bangor, ME --Area woman Nancy Drew, 51, was relieved when President Obama gave her a chance to go back  to her National Health Alliance plan of 50 dollars. She carries the card with her, has for years. It had never paid for anything. She gets minor problems taken care of at the Walgreens walk in clinic.

"I do have a job and income and I do not qualify for many of them complicated plans. And I don't have a computer to sign up."

Friends and neighbors say she spends most of her extra cash at the casino. She goes there with another hairdresser. They work at an independent salon that has no benefits.

Kari Remembers The Beatles

I had the LPs as they came out with Magical Mystery Tour and later. The earlier ones pretty much did not exist for me except Rubber Soul, about 1966 or 67. I then made cassettes..or was it reel to reel tape... of the early stuff from singles, so by 1969 I was mostly caught up. But for instance Please Please Me did not click for me till the 70s when I heard a cover band (The Shakers) play it outdoors for college freshmen. I had to seek the album at that point. I think I eventually found the UK album. The US Early Beatles did not seem right.

My discovery of popular music was about 63 with Beatles singles but I did not own any albums...any band!... till 1966. By the 70s, I was onto 70s bands, so the 1962-1966 (RED) Beatles collection went by me with little notice, I had most of them on a cassette. The other collection seemed more interesting, The Blue, but even so, I preferred to play Sgt Pepper as a whole, not the bits in the collection. So yeah, I had pushed the 1962-1966 songs to nostalgia for most of the 70s. I was not really interested in them till the CDs came out. My first ever CD was Past Masters 1. What a crappy collection in hindsight. I played it all weekend. In a a wave of nostalgia.