Dozens of Patriots Fail To Remove Black Man From White House

Washington, DC -- The first two days failed to accomplish the mission, when dozens of Tea Party activists, such as this group from Alabama, failed to remove Barack Obama from the White House, where he has been holed up for over four years.

"He's the leader of the free world. Not once has he pressed the button in that secret service brief case. And he didn't send our troops to Syria. All he does is tax us and keep Bundy off his land in Nevada due to some damn turtles. Well he did get rid of Bin Laden, maybe. But that was intelligence Bush set up."