Trump team working on Executive Order on Bats. Or Birds.

The Trump team working on drafting executive orders to be signed by Trump on Monday got busy with an easier task, something to draw the press away from immigrants.

“Maybe something with birds or bats,” the President suggested. He was not sure what federal department to attack with this.

That would be the United States Fish and Wildlife Service. The number one issue with bats is white nose disease.

“Yes? Is it caused by foreign bats?”

In a way, sir, but it’s already here so there is no stopping bats coming in to airports. And they do not arrive by plane. There is no market for bat smuggling.

“So what? Tell me some details.”

The disease is caused by the fungus Pseudogymnoascus destructans, which colonizes the bat's skin. No obvious treatment or means of preventing transmission is known, and some species have declined >90% within five years of the disease reaching a site. The species has been found in healthy bats in Europe, although as of 2010 it was not clear whether it was introduced into North America from Europe or Asia.

“That’s good. Europe and Asia. Work on that, team. What about birds? Can we write up something about Mexican birds? That we can shoot them down freely.”

No sir, the migratory bird treaty bans that.

 “Get working with Congress to repeal that. We want birds and bats all in the same order.”

“Yes, sir.”