In a Tight Race, Democrats Run Man With No Testicles

Chapel Hill, N.C. -- In a tight race to replace Senator Bob Belushi, who resigned in a scandal, Democrats are hoping to take advantage of the situation that put Republicans in shame, as hypocrites with no real morals.

But just to be sure, they have located a Vietnam war-hero who fathered five children in a loving marriage, but destroyed his testicles in a freak motorcycle accident in the 1990s. But he remains active, hunting, fishing and running triathlons.

"Al is a perfect candidate. Sunday school teacher, lawyer and moderate liberal. Never divorced." 

His opponent has the same qualifications, but also testicles.