Nocturnal Birdwatcher Still Working on first 200 Birds

Wilmington, DE -- Area bird watcher Al Franken, 39, has been watching birds for 10 years. He has been in every state and has even the rarest elf owl. But he is missing ducks and song birds and such.

"I got pretty good at sleeping duck ID in the afternoon. But some are still missing. Like American Wigeon."

I read the books at night so I can do most of the shorebirds. I can tell a dowitcher even though I have never seen one. Gulls give me a headache but I do run into them in urban settings, 

"I did get all the owls on my owl tour of the US. I would get up at noon, drive to the next spot for 6 hours and birds all night." He did get night jars, whip poor wills and other birds of dusk in the process.

"In the early morning as I drove to the motel for a nap I did hear some of the annoying chirpy birds in the woods and the edges of woods. But I was not going to bother with the songs just yet. Maybe some day."

Hotels were not always cooperative with his hours so he rented an RV for two weeks of his tour.

Trump Supporter Angry

Boise, ID -- Area Trump supporter Carl, 21, is angry. He is angry because he has not finished community college in heating and air conditioning and had to wait to the spring term to retake a class he failed so he can graduate. He is angry at having to work as a bus boy at a chain cafe and restaurant.

He is angry that Nancy, cropped from the photo, dumped him. He is angry at Oregon.

"They should lease that land to the ranchers and let them take care of it. To heck with the sage grouse and migratory birds,"

Carl learned the term migratory birds from Nancy yapping at him about the birds every week end. They even had to go look at some cranes once. They may have seen some grouse. He was not sure.

He is angry at homosexuals. "I have to serve them and clean up tables and stuff."

He is angry at Obama. "I had to spemd hours at healthcare,gov. Why can't I just go to some insurance guy and let him do it? I can even have him look at my income tax forms. As long as the government does  not come knocking at my door."

Immigrants? He is not quite sure there. He likes Mexican food and really has no local issues with illegals other than the one guy two years ago who dented his car a bit. and even that guy gave him 100 dollars in cash. They shook hands on it.

He is not really angry at religious people or abortionists. He has no intention of voting for Cruz. 

March 8 he is going to vote for Trump.

"If Trump is not on ticket in November, will you vote?"

"No."

Area Hunk of Snow Subliming

Lawrence, KS--An area hunk of snow was alarmed at not melting away but just sort of blowing away in the wind. If you could get a microphone up close enough you could hear "help I'm evaporating!"

With the prairie wind blowing several days in a row, the hunk is evaporating as he says, or subliming, going from solid to gas, If he is melting a bit on the surface and the wind just blows off the melt water, then that would be evaporating as he claims.

Either way, we give him about four days on the edge of the University of Kansas bike path and he
 will be gone forever.

Wildlife Refuge Occupiers Not Getting Attention

Burns, Oregon -- The last four occupiers at the Malheur refuge have not had communications with the world for a day. Supporters post the same old pictures of cowboy outfitted Bundy and pals as well as the four still inside. "They are demonstrating their constitutional rights of free speech and peaceful armed demonstration."

Stuck with nothing but a transistor radio, the four listened to broadcasts of the New Hampshire primary.

Occupier 1: Bernie is kicking butt. Hillary is going to explain something in a bit so we'll just turn it off.

Occupier 2: Good.

Occupier 3: Guys, we are turning into old news. I have a dental issue, I might have to pack it in.

Occupier 1: Just one more week, we have some ibuprofen for your tooth.

None of the four have any feelings at all for Donald Trump who gave them no words of encouragement. 

One occupant was cleaning up and inventorying the remaining fuel and cans of beans. Lights out at 10 PM.

Last Thursday Thousands of TV Remotes Lost and Found

America, various locations -- America has lost its TV remote again. It’s not like it’s the first time, but on a National TV Remote Loss Index, Thursday was 100, compared to the average 50.

One was found upstairs stuck in the cordless phone dock. The owner noticed it going to bed and could sleep more peacefully.

Another one was found under the sofa pillows as usual.

A third one went upstairs to the kitchen with the dishes after the pizza party. Harry was about to put it in the sink with the plates, catching it from the running faucet at the last second.

Mrs. Janice Olsen has always put it down on the coffee table, where it sits safely with a few other items, such as books. Now she had received a phone call and taken the remote to mute it while doing so. Absentmindedly she put the phone back and carried the remote to the bedroom. Her husband had been looking for an AA size battery and instantly took the remote to use the battery. The remote was later found in his shoe in his closet. They have separate closets and bathrooms.

A TV remote was lost among five other black remotes in the room. The owner went and bought a sixth one and programmed the new one, before he located the remote in the pile among his electronic toys.

The remote at the dental office has once more gone home with one of the patients. They usually bring it back.

One remote was relocated with the aid of a cat.

She carried on without a comma...

...that she was someone I should know.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nllWDc8_9lw