Sunday, July 29, 2018

Vladimir Putin: I was Trump's Campaign Manager

Vladimir Putin disclosed to CNN today that he in fact ran Trump's entire campaign.


Putin said he allowed Trump to spout at the mouth freely on TV, this part was all Trump's doing. In the back ground, Russian hackers found out about polling in the Great Lakes area. They were able to reject "all those weird sounding black names" from voter registries in Milwaukee for example. The black voters were then allowed to cast a provisional ballot, where they had 72 hours to update the address on the driver's license to match the address they voted with. Putin also contacted the Trump ad team to spend all the money, some of it Russian, on the three critical Great Lakes states. Jill Stein was also given money for those states to campaign for radical votes, taking those votes away from Hillary.

"I think we did a splendid job. Unfortunalely Mr Trump won't last more than four years. He is weak, I discovered in Helsinki."

Liberal picks up after Libertarian

Andy Snow has been going to Yankee Hill recreation area to look at birds, ID flowers and count monarch butterflies for two years now. He noticed a lot of trash left behind by fishermen. Beer cans, worm containers in Styrofoam, lots of plastic water bottles. “I hate plastic, you should read about microplastics.” Andy now picks up the first plastic grocery bag he sees and uses work gloves he brings to pick up all the trash. 


Andy is generally very happy, now with a small child at home. The child will no doubt be picking up trash with Andy by toddler age. “I like picking up trash. The guys may be sloppy and probably never even vote, that’s their problem. I am doing a small part to make this a better world. I have a happy family and I see a great country after Trump is gone. These guys are no longer married or hide at the lake all their spare time because their wives are fat and watch TV all day. We bicycle when I am not here. I already have the trailer for the baby when she’s a few months older.” 




It turns out that more than three fourths of the trash that is thrown in this area comes from one man. 


Bill Black is a libertarian. He has been a hard-core libertarian ever since the day Obama got elected. Throwing trash is just a small part of the fight against big government. Even now with Trump in charge, Bill is not happy. “I thought that Trump putting in less regulation would help. I don’t want my kid vaccinated, for example. But the state people are just undoing him.” It appears that the state of Oklahoma has picked up some of the regulation that Trump abandoned.

The corporations are running the world, and Bill does not quite want to support them very much. They run the country through that same Big Government. With less government we would have the corporations more under control as consumers. Or so he thinks, the theory is still in the works. This is one point where he disagrees with Trump. “I support local. I drink local beer, I go to local restaurants, never Trump’s KFC. My dad’s hardware went out of business because of Wal Mart.” Bill works at a national hard ware chain, making keys and sometimes mixing paints. “It’s a job. I’m just saving to get off the grid.” Bill’s marriage did not work after his wife Cathy went and got his boy vaccinated for every thing that they vaccinate kids for these days. Even human papillomavirus. “He should just wear a condom if he wants sex with girls at fifteen.” Bill now lives in a camper that he pulls with his pick-up. In the summer he is at various recreation areas within 20 miles of his work place. At night he writes angry posts at Free Republic and Twitter.

Andy by now knows about Bill. He heard Bill angrily protest the fishing license with another fisherman. They have never talked to each other but Andy gives him a wave and Bill does a weird pointing of the index finger and a smoker’s heavy laugh after that. It even cheers Bill to see “that yuppy working so hard”, but then he goes back to being grumpy as soon as Andy is gone.


Saturday, July 28, 2018

Do not trust Michael Cohen, he's lied for me before!


I'm not very happy with Michael Cohen. He is lying. Do not trust this man, he has lied for me before, so I know he's good at lying! That is what I paid him for.

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Senators do something and Trump does a different thing and it's complicated

In order to fix a problem of imports and exports which did not exist until Trump created it, the people in power are doing a number of things.

The Senate is going to fix things by passing a bill delaying the auto tariffs that were not a part of the deal Trump made with Junker. That deal was a different problem, also created by Trump. But the Senate is optimistic both Democrats and republicans will support American auto jobs.


Trump has a different approach. He is going to import cheap Russian steel and aluminum and make all the cars here. Heck, we will make BMWs here and export them to Europe, because AMERICA FIRST! if you just keep repeating that phrase instead of listening to fake news, Trump will make it happen! Forget the Senate bill, Trump is not going to sign it.


See how easy it is to MAGA! Foreigners are begging to buy our American....stuff, like the GMO soy beans that can only be fed to pigs in the rest of the world.

Friday, July 20, 2018

Europe consists entirely of foreigners!

President Trump got some heat for poo-pooing the EU and NATO while visiting Europe and then getting together to celebrate his friendship with Putin. Trump supporters are 100% behind Trump with tariffs and anything he can do to the European Union. Why do you support this?


Foreigners! That Europe has nothing but foreigners! Serves them right!

OK, we get that. You don't like foreigners. What about Putin?


"I have nothing against Russia," said the second Trump voter we asked. "Russia has been good to Trump and that's good enough for me. Besides, they are good Christian people, not like them Norwegian atheists."

Area man torn by bagel extremes

Do I want the "everything bagel" or the "just plain" bagel which has some other words after it, explaining that it is still healthy?


Brad Kowalski decided that the "everything" bagel was the more interesting choice and really was not "too much" as he feared when holding the package in hand at Trader Joe's, where he also bought beer, a California brewed Kölsch. Even though by EU rules Kölsch is restricted to an area of Germany, just as champagne is restricted to France.

To add to the decadence, he chose the strawberry flavored cream cheese from another store where he also bought coffee beans and frozen yogurt.



Thursday, July 19, 2018

Trump to wag finger at Putin

Following his pitiful bowing and scraping to the tune of "no collusion" and making friendly gestures, President Trump will try again.


He will be wagging his finger at Putin for election meddling, with the message "don't do this again." Or at least, if you do it, don't leave such obvious trails.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Old men in Washington have no clue what is going to happen next

President Trump tried to pull off a stunt in Helsinki that did not quite come off right.


Trump called as his first witness Vladimir Putin. The former KGB agent told the world that Russia did not spy on Democrats and pull strings to get the same Trump elected. The world was not buying any of it, except for two pig farmers in Iowa.

If Trump watched West Wing or any of a number of cop shows he could have figured this out. He and Putin were like the two criminals being interrogated separately and sticking to the same rehearsed testimony. Except without being separated, Putin was able to cover his ass well.

Congress members could not believe what they were hearing.


He was just supposed to lay low and wait for the Mueller inquiry to wrap up. They had time to approve the judge who was going to end abortion!

The people in the Republican party rely on Trump voters to turn up in November to keep them in congress. They can't say bad things about Trump that the voters might take the wrong way.

Now the game is up. The November election will be a disaster. People supporting Trump are starting to give up on him. He has served his purpose and the voters can still support anti-abortion, low taxes and all the rest of the Republican issues. They will even vote for their republican senators and congressmen. They just need to have this bozo move out of the way.

It was probably inevitable. A tweeting president does not have the restraint to lead the free world for more than a year and a half.

What are they going to do? Only feeble comments from Marco Rubio, Cruz, McConnel and the rest have been heard. Trey Gowdy even went as far as saying that the hacking "has to be explained" to Trump as he does not understand it well enough. The news will hash this thing fora few weeks and press on with Mueller. Trump is no use to any Republicans now (except in the pig farm district in Iowa), so they are all going to polish up pre-Trump era speeches and go on with their campaigns.

The leader of the free world has not sorted out what happened in his own campaign in 2016. He does not even want to make an effort, as any finding will make him illegitimate, whether he knew any details or not.

Trump handlers in the White House are the only ones at this point that have a plan: Trump will never talk to Mueller.

Going into Helsinki, the weak minded leader had no clue he was going to end his career there. He actually thought he could pull off the stunt.

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Trump handing out bills again

With European leaders on hand, President Trump took the opportunity


to hand out bills for our services. The president amazingly got all the names correct. There was a small photo of the leader paper clipped to the corner of the bill, so that may have something to do with it. Even non-NATO leaders on this trip will be given bills, such as Niinistö in Helsinki.