Trump Wants Double the CO2 in Coke

Trump had nothing much to do, having avoided the bad polling data all day. But then he helped himself to another Diet Coke in the small room near the Oval office where only Diet Coke is in the little fridge.

He had an idea.

- Bring in that Science Guy!

They brought him from the basement office.

- What if we put in double fizzy stuff in Coke? You know, cee oh two?
- Why would you want to do that, to store it?
- No I want more of it in the air. Bannon says it's food for plants.
- It does not work that way. It does not add to CO2 or take away any. They don't make CO2 specially to put it in Coke. It's just a waste product of various industrial processes like making concrete. It would go in the air but we capture some of it to make use of it like in Coke.
- But I really want to add some fizz in the Coke. Go do some work to see if there is some national security angle to this. Then we'll bring in both the Coke and Pepsi people.

Even thought they come from China, Trump likes Golf Balls and plastic!

We have tremendous plastic in America. All my hotels use plastic. I'm checking on where it comes from. I want to insure the continuity of making golf balls, even if we don't make them in America. We'll get a good deal and make them in China! I use Titleist balls myself, and always check on the package if they are made in the USA. But they are all good balls.

Democrats are out to destroy fracking and plastics and all that fossil fuel stuff. How will you get your bottled water? Collect the trash you make? Vote for me and I will save plastics!

Asians back to Asia, Caucasians to Caucasia!

Pittsburgh, PA -- Area trump supporter Anne McCormick, 32, thinks Trump is right about immigrants.

"If they don't like it here, if they don't like guns and Jesus, they should go back."

Back where, Where should Asians go?

"To Asia."

And Central Americans?

"To whatever shithole country they came from."

And Caucasians?

"Caucasia of course. if you don't like it here, go back!"