Area Man Fascinated by All Types of Masks

Area widower Hank Marwin, 62, is a bit bored. There is mowing to do once a week and some other yard work. And golf. But the rest of the time Hank spends reading about the pandemic, and especially the masks. Hank has bought every kind that was available to the general public.

He has bought funny ones, poiltical ones, head gear of all kinds for warding off the virus. Yet, most of the time he just goes out with the black washable mask, which he ordered three dozen of. But he can wear all kinds of gear. If his daughter wanted to take part in those protests, he has a gas mask for her.

Good quantities of disposable masks are stored on shelves in the garage. If neighbors run out, they just call Hank and he then opens the garage door for them to go and pick one they like. They call him back and he closes the garage door. He does not want to meet any of them. He does interact with them in sharing tomatoes and squash in a crate by the street. Masks and squash, that's Hank.

Nonprofits Having No Trouble Being Nonprofitable During Pandemic

Unlike businesses, which generally employ more people, nonprofits are having no trouble at all during the pandemic. Gary Killian, president of the Pennsylvania Land Trust says he is paying himself 30 hours at minimum wage for office work. 

"We had a founding member die during the pandemic, of unrelated causes, and it did require some legal work to transfer most of his savings to our Legacy Fund. We don't need to use it for land related issues right away. We can have substantial assets, as some years more land is acquired than others."

A children's foundation in Maine is receiving normal donations, and Kate and Allie are funneling the money to their usual recipient organizations.

Other foundations are directing research money to individual academics and state agencies with small crews taking care of environmental problems. There seems to be no end to causes that these liberal minded people come up with for their foundations.

Trump Signs Executive Order Declaring 2020 Election Illegal

President Trump has signed an executive order declaring the election illegal, if even one mail in ballot is counted.

"If your state has mail in votes, we won't count your state at all."

Claiming he has no time to deal with the election, and as he is in a deep fight with a massive left wing insurrection in several states, the administration is going to apply this simple rule to all states.

"Your governor has the authority to give all the electoral votes in your state to me, if you wish to be counted at all. I have put in an order to arrest Joe Biden, the leader of the insurrection we are fighting, so electoral votes for him could be counted. But he will be in jail at least to the end of this year."

Trump will not be leaving Washington in 2021. "I've put in an executive order for that as well. I can do that, you know."

Two Years into Pandemic, US Economy Surviving on Coffee Drive Thrus and Pizza Delivery

Jan 13, 2022 -- The US will survive. Politicians are ready to send another monthly $1200 stimulus check, so that we can all eat, work, sleep and all that. Economists have analyzed the situation and say that it is perfectly normal to do this for a short period. The US economy is currently run almost entirely on income from coffee drive-through businesses and pizza bought and delivered to Americans. A few are choosing to drive to pick up the pizza, but most are delivered.

President Biden is urging families to pile into the car and get that coffee as soon as you wake up. Even seniors. "They have decaf, you know," he added.

Americans gaining 2.5 pounds weight in 2020 from Cheez-Its alone

With lots of time to spend at home due to Covid-19, Americans have turned to snacks in their boredom. The average adult American has gained 2.5 pounds from eating Cheez Its this year. What are Cheese Its, you ask?

They are delicious cheese flavored crackers that come in a few varieties. A serving is 30g or 26 crackers, and has 150 calories.

"Really? I just eat a handful at a time, maybe 50," explained Andy McGuire, a big fan of regular Cheez I ts crackers. Then five minutes later I eat another 50.

Man in MAGA hat messing with Pollster

Do you know how hard it is to get phone numbers of people these day? Well, it's hard. So pollsters put an extra effort in polling a county that went strongly for trump in Pennsylvania in 2016. The pollsters have actual names, so we will just cal the senior citizen Elmer. Elmer was polled about who he was going to vote for in 2020. "I can always change my mind, young man," he announced. In any case he said he was going to vote for Biden.

That same day, Elmer drove his pick up to the cafe, anxious to shoot the bull with his buddies. "I told that pollster I was going to vote for Biden." This was followed by five minutes of laughter. Mike went as far as going outside. "Did you folks hear that? Elmer messed with the pollster and said he was going to vote for Biden!" There were only two people in the street and they briefly stopped to give a little hand wave to Mike.

Dan, Bill and Otis go Camping

Three friends from the Baltimore area decided to go camping and do all kinds of outdoor stuff. They headed out to South Dakota at first, then deciding whether to go to Colorado or "one of them white states up there in the North."

To minimize interactions with a lot of folks, they took a camper and spent one day a week stocking up on all the supplies, at some Wal Mart if there is nothing else.

They ended up at a state park in Western South Dakota, where they met Bob. Bob came up to the RV just mumbling at first. "I was just making sure the RV was not stolen. They seemed to have two sets of keys to it."

Bob always carries a concealed weapon, even when relaxing at the camp site. " We have them drunken motorcyclists here a few times a year."

Bob did introduce himself and said he "once saw a black family here before. It was parents and kids and a dog. I wasn't too concerned with them. In fact I helped them change a propane cylinder."

Dan, Bill and Otis all have jobs that seem to require them to work a few days a week, even in these corona times. Dan is a chemist and does analytical work on a health care product. "I traded a few days with my partner, we have to have a guy on site to release a lot of product every two days." Otis seems to be part time in retail shop, but makes a little more income as a regional stand up comic. Bill is in sales, but the whole business seems to be almost bankrupt, so he is looking for a new job.

Bob didn't say what line of work he was in before he retired. "I think he was army," Otis thought. Bill and Dan seemed to want to move on with their camping the next day.  "We'll go the Colorado," they announced. They knew there were more black folks there.

All three were happy that Bob didn't have to send the park ranger to investigate them, as it seemed to be an odd thing to be camping while black, at least so far into the middle of our great country.

Politics did not enter into the discussion. The boys knew not to put any election bumper stickers on the RV. They in fact did not own it, it was borrowed from Dan's uncle who is not driving it anymore, and does not have kids to pass it on to.

Trump Recruits Ghostbusters To Drive out Chinese Virus

Although Trump has not seen eye to eye with Science very often, he has reversed course in one case related for Covid-19. Funding to research the virus was stopped, but Trump does believe The Ghostbusters will drive out the virus.That's science! In addition, Trump knew we had a disaster of Biblical portions on our hands.

The contract runs in the hundreds of millions, but will go city by city, starting with Jacksonville, to give Trump a safe place to give a Convention Rally.

After Jacksonville. the team will be driving down the streets of all cities designated hot spots.

Trump demands that they use "that zapper thing," which Trump believes will work much better than Chlorox. He also wanted to put Trump 2020 on the Ghostbusters car, but Bill Murray did not agree to that. The Ghostbusters will wear full face respirators, due to the large doses of virus they will be dealing with.

Put Pence back in on the ticket! Trump says masks now OK

With his polls tumbling overnight after removing Mike Pence from his ticket, Trump made the bold move to put Pence back in.

Mike will be the surgical mask champion from now on, giving all his speeches with the mask on. Trump says masks are OK, not a joke. Though Trump will never be seen wearing one even now. Trump is very proud of having solved two problems with the Mike Mask campaign.

Trump does not admit he made a mistake in putting in Matt Gaetz briefly as his vice presidential running mate. Trump had thought that putting in a Florida politician would make his standing in Florida more secure. The opposite happened. All the seniors want Mike, not Matt.

Inside sources indicate that there was a mask problem with Gaetz: he was not willing to wear a mask if Trump was not. "I'll do the same thing you do, since we are partners now," Gaetz had announced.

Trump: Pence out, Matt Gaetz is in

Not happy with Mike Pence wearing a surgical mask, Trump decided to announce he is done with Mike Pence.

"Mike's a good guy and will serve this term to the end. But for the campaign and the rallies we have lined up, Matt Gaetz will be my partner," declared Trump. He says he talks to Matt all the time. Matt is a little young, but that will just be a plus attracting the younger Trump fans to actually show up and vote. They are going to Make America Great Again again.