Trump has 100% support among voters identifying as "asshole"

In a national survey, 40% of voters seem to approve of President Trump. That Ukraine thing, he was "just after the deep state," which seems to be burrowing back into the race in the form of Joe Biden. However, when asked about themselves, those polled were asked to identify as Democrat, Republican, independent or asshole. Those identifying as asshole support Trump 100%.

Old Timers Wake Up to Another Day of Complaining

San Antonio -- Residents of Sunny Side senior apartments, an assisted living facility, gather after breakfast in the day room to catch up on news and gossip...

...and complaining.

My Alexa isn't connecting to the WiFi properly!

The eggs were neither fried or scrambled but a mess!

The orange juice was not fresh!

There's not enough men here!

Trump is disgusting!

Some residents just kind of sit and grumble to themselves without any words clearly heard. But they do seem to join in some of the general complaints.

It was too cold in parts of the building and too hot in others!

The cafeteria repair took too long and the pictures from the wall are now missing!

Trump signs EO closing the FBI

"Since the FBI is unable to help us find the criminal activity carried out by the Democrats in the 2016 election, I am closing the FBI. Homeland security is now assigned to find out the truth."

Trump has plans to turn the FBI into a spy museum.

Trump hires Olivia Pope to Take Out the Whistleblower

Frustrated at the slow progress he is making in finding out the leaks in his White House that led to Whistleblower leaking his quid pro quo deal with Ukraine, Trump has made a deal. "We have hired Olivia Pope and Jake Ballard to take out the Whistleblower. You know I can do that, right? I can't trust the FBI anymore." Olivia Pope has declined comment.

Trump Is On a Roll!

Kari has asked me to comment on the Trump and Ukraine thing. I know you liberals get all your fake news from CNN and MSNBC. So I will tell you what is going on.

I'll be voting for Trump in 2020 anyway, so it does not matter if you try to impeach him. With the NRA defunded, I have to exert my 2nd amendment rights in some manner.

But to the Ukraine thing. Trump has said:

"If that ever happened, if a Republican ever did what Joe Biden did, if a Republican ever said what Joe Biden said, they'd be getting the electric chair by right now."

To find out what Biden did, you have to watch Foxnews a bit and more important, listen to talk radio. All politicians are crooked. Biden was vice president and he was involved in all kinds of stuff in Europe and Ukraine. Of course he took advantage of it. That Ukrainian gas company was getting some bad press. Hunter Biden appears when Joe tips him off and there he is, in the Burisma catalog. I have a PDF of copy of the company brochure. He is just a pretty picture in their white washing of their crimes getting permits from the Ukrainian state. All he had to do was show up twice a year at board meetings to make a half a million.

It's just like that Uranium One deal, where the Russians funneled money into the Clinton Foundation  and then got pocketed by Hillary when she traveled and billed the Foundation for supposedly "air travel."

This impeachment thing will blow over. We have our guys in the Senate that will stop anything serious happening to Trump.  It's totally unfair. He was just doing his job draining the swamp. You have to stop corruption in foreign policy to set an example.

You all claim there is some crime of quid pro quo, but that is all the deep state working to undermine Trump's plan to Make America Great Again.

Kari: Thanks Joe again, for your contribution to what is basically a satirical column. You did not mention the whistleblower or any White House staff involved. Anything to add?

Joe: Lock them up and fire the staff. Why would a CIA spy spy on our president?

Area Man Wants Her Back

Area man Jack McCormick was reported together with the love of his life last time. The story was the result of following that relationship for a week. Now that we reported on that, there is a problem right away. She seems to have left, at least temporarily.

Jack now has a message for Catherine:

Baby, come back! This is the first time until today that you have run away.

I'm asking you for the first time: Love me enough now to stay.

There ain't no use in you crying, cause I'm more hurt than you!

I should not been out flirting, but now my love is true! Oh, won't you give me a second chance? Baby, come back! 

Area Man Can't let Her Go

Area man Jack McCormick, 22, has found a woman. This woman is special. He has something to tell her:

"Baby, now that I've found you I can't let you go. I'll build my world around you!
I need you so, even though you don't need me. You don't need me!
Baby, now that I've found you I can't let you go!
I'll build my world around you!
Baby, baby, since first we met I knew in this heart of mine!
The love we had could not be bad!"

He reveals some of his methods:
Play it right and bide my time. Spent a lifetime looking for somebody to give me love like her!