Ad Writer's first project: Toilet Paper

Fresh out of college, Stan McCormick, 32, landed a job at an ad agency. The first project he got was the dreaded toilet paper account. The client is a long time toilet paper maker. Ads have evolved from the old days of squeezing to strong and other properties. What am I going to do with this?

First he had to watch a dozen of the old commercials. The main decision is whether to use cartoon bears or people in the ad. That all depends on the grand concept he comes up with. The concepts involve getting "clean", "underwear" , "strong", not clogging up the sewer pipe.

The strong one is the easiest to copy and spin into a new theme. Have they used Rapunzel yet? You know, the guy climbs up to her window on a rope made of toilet paper. Seems a bit complicated.  And will it use animation? Animation can be tricky as they need outside help. Live action is just talking to a director and being on the set a few minutes each day and looking at finished takes.

He thought they could use the strong theme, with the wet paper and a banana on it. "Too sexual", said Jane, his boss. A lemon? "We never use lemons, makes the product a kind of lemon as well."

Stan was left in the company machine shop at the end of the day, looking for heavy things to place on the toilet paper. Why couldn't they just give him the paper towel account instead?

Trump will make the Doctor pay for visits to him

Trump: I thought I would solve this problem once and for all. We've been having nothing but trouble with healthcare, and I then remembered my last exam. The doctor buys those disposable shorts guys have to wear in bulk. Then he charges me ten bucks for it. I'm going to make him pay.

Kari Report: How will you do that?

Trump: They got paid plenty during Obamacare. I'm signing an executive order as soon as I get back from Europe. The doctor will pay your bill each year up tot the first 500 bucks. Then if you are still friendly to him and impressed with his or her work, then he can charge a small fee for the rest of the care that year. I'm thinking maybe 80 bucks tops for a general practitioner.

Kari Report: Is that constitutional?

Trump: Who cares? I'm fed up with the Constitution. I can't get my Senate to work.

Kari Report: Those are Senate rules. They are not in the Constitution.

Trump: Get me someone. Pence! Who do we get to whip the Senate in shape? Can you do it?

Pence was not found at the press conference or left as soon as he heard the word "senate."

He speaks how I feel

So said one woman in a video. Some 40% still stubbornly support Trump in polls. I just wonder how they feel about supporting him now. They may not personally lose anything, but Trump has created zero jobs.

From the Internet

Trump and pals get fireworks from Missouri!

Make America Great again!

President Trump and his new pals drove the red pick up and some other vehicles to Missouri to buy a shitload of fireworks. Terrific fireworks!

Trump: We drove all night and got back here in the morning for waffles at...where is this, Iowa?
(Ted:) Kansas.

Trump: OK, so we got back to Kansas. I drove this pickup with my security guy Cal that was assigned to me for this short getaway. I had to give that speech but I'll be back Fourth of July.

I bought all these myself and will be firing off some of these Fourth of July. Make America Great Again!  We are storing them in Bernie's third garage over there. See you guys in six days!

Repeal and Replace!

President Trump had to be removed from public for a few hours today by his handlers as he was stuck with the phrase "repeal and replace Obamacare!" for 30 minutes straight. He was still repeating the phrase and waving the right hand as he was led to his limo.

Republicans still divided on how to deny Americans health insurance

The Freedom Caucus did their work, now the Senate is about to vote on this historic measure, which will take us pretty much back to the pre-Obama era of no control and denying all sick patients a plan at all. Back then, when you lost everything, you got Medicaid. That is pretty much history now. The only coverage that will remain is for the urban poor to deliver babies. Contraceptives are not covered.

In particular, Senator Rand Paul is taking care of his state, looking through the records and erasing every possible claim to be in the Medicaid plan.

Many can see through the thinly veiled plan for 2020. President wants the 3 million people that voted for Hillary dead by then. How exactly will he know the 3 million that she had in excess over those voting for him? "We have people working on that." Whether it is Trump or Pence running in 2020, Trump wants those people dead.