New York, NY—Publisher denies wrongdoing. In the children’s book Porcupine’s Pajama Part by Terry Harshman, Mole prepares cookie dough, they eat it, place the remaining three cookies in the oven on page 27. Then they watch scary movies and on page 64, the three critters (including owl) go to bed together. Molly Hanson, 7, of Fairfield, OH, wrote in to alarm the publisher that “they never took the cookies out!” Molly offered to edit future books for a small salary.
London, U.K.--Beatles archivists unearth another 3 seconds of studio noise. In the noise can be heard a cough, a mutter, a lone guitar chord and one snare drum beat. Experts place these items somewhere in the second album recording sessions, though they were on a later tape, spliced at the end. The cough is attributed to McCartney and the mutter, all experts agree, is Lennon. This is the 27,003th archived studio noise bit where all 4 Beatles are believed to be present.
It appears that Hunter Biden's laptop has escaped from the FBI vault and has made its way into Russia.
Other tasks it has been looking into include turning off the natural gas going into Angela Merkel's house.
Kyiv, Ukraine, May 30, 2022 -- With half of his army deserted and applying for residency in Ukraine, Putin has problems.
The Russians still in the country have given up fighting and are mostly distilling vodka from fermented garbage (their stock ran out). What to do, Putin? what to do?
"You people do not need government help! Pick up yourself and apply yourself to some productive thing!"
The House Republicans remind you that America is the land of opportunity, get a job! It is not the job of the Federal Government to hand you relief. Thousand points of light.
Also on Twitter this week House Republicans want all Americans to have the moral backbone to reject China. We must apply the same pressure to China as the Democrats are applying to Russia. Russia is a capitalist country. We must support them. We must not get involved with their border problems.
China is communist, they must be punished. Buy an Android phone, most of those are made outside of China. Not like the Apple phones Democrats like Hillary and Biden like to use. The human rights violations in China require us to cut off as much of the trade as possible.
Going a few days back, Republicans remind you:
-Republicans are working to protect parental rights and expand school choice, not empower the Federal Government or Far-Left teachers unions.
After serving in congress for a year (though it did happen after a Trump loss, so sad), Lauren Boebert is happy to report that she proudly represents your guns in congress. Please re-elect her this November if you want to continue this support of your guns.
The Supreme court is still mulling over how to write it up, but Biden can't just "do stuff." It says in the constitution that:
"The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years."
That seems to be national stuff. You know, running the country and controlling our enemies. Nowhere does it say he can put together vaccination and mask mandates. Those are state duties, police powers. "He might as well pack up all his OSHA stuff too", the court suggested.
And all this stuff with the attorney general. He can just go home too. The states run elections!
The conservative court has decided to side with state rights no matter what the case. Except for the 2nd Amendment. "Those rights are with the citizens." They don't really know what the words talking about militias mean.
