Grandma Wanted Boys to Eat Something Called Soup

Sacramento, CA -- Brothers Andy (7) and Ted (4) were preparing to go visit Grandma Jean. Jean usually takes them out to lunch, but she had some trouble walking. Mom was going to bring cinnamon rolls and they would have bean soup.

 Andy: Just eat the cinnamon rolls, Ted. Not the soup. Or you can play with it a bit with the spoon. 

Ted: What's soup? 

Andy: it's kind of like hot cereal but it has stuff floating in it and it's salty.

Ted: Grandma Bella makes hot dogs for us. 

Andy: Yeah but Jean doesn't like stuff made from meat. Remember, she just ate noodles and spaghetti sauce when she was here? And we had the meat sauce. 

Ted: Is hot dog meat? 

Andy: Sort of.

Mississippi Requires Photo ID to Get Photo ID

Jackson, Mississippi -- With wide-spread election and healthcare fraud, Mississippi now requires a photo ID to get the photo ID. The new ID card is requited to get anything from the state and to vote. Previous photo ID's from any Southern state will be accepted as the proof to get the new ID-card.

Ophelia Johnson, 75, has never had a photo ID and never will. "They can just send my social security to the bank. When I'm dead, they can photograph me."

Trump Resisting Coronavirus on Horseback

Having declared a national emergency and discouraging mass gatherings, President Trump was saddened by the cancellation of most of his election rallies. But  he will be resisting this virus in a different manner. He is following the example of King Christian of Denmark during World War II.

The president will ride weekly through the streets of Washington on a horse. To speak to his followers, groups of 50 or less will be allowed to attend at regular stops on the route. Hand cleaner and face masks will be provide to those attending.

Anitvaxxers Hoping to Catch the BIG ONE, Coronavirus, at Planned Party

Bay area antivaxxers gathered last week at an area school, where kids are not vaccinated, to discuss what a variety of diseases they might get at the next pox party.

At first it was going to be the usual chicken pox and measles at the next pox party. But then Frank got a call telling him that the cruise ship people will be taken to Travis Air Force Base. They will need to be tested, and Nancy works there as a nurse! They are going to send Nancy to touch as many of the passengers as possible.

They will wait a couple of days after her five day week there and get her to the next party to hand out drinks for all the kids. It will be so exciting! Kids are not harmed by this virus! Parents should take some precautions so they are not sick at the same time.

Hillary: Sanders' Campaign is Just baloney!

Hillary Clinton thinks Bernie's campaign is laughable. "What did he ever pass?" And what kind of emails did he ever delete as senator?  Does he even have a server? Hillary did.

How many dictators did he oust, send to be shot like a pig in a drainage pipe? Hilalry did, Gaddafi. There was that Benghazi thing, but you have to take some risks when you are a leader. Sanders never was a leader, even as a pacifist. Yes, it is all total baloney what he claims he can do. He should know. Sanders won't get those socialist plans past that senate that Sanders himself has struggled with for all those years.

Trump Allies Pray and Sing to Get Coronavirus to Change Structure

With Mike Pence in charge of the US coronavirus task force, things started happening.

Pence immediately contacted Paula White, and they gathered her congregation. They will meet at the White House daily and pray. As well as sing and dance, to keep up the spirits. "We will be praying. This is very scientific. We have a member who is a biologist, and he will tell us exactly where on the virus to concentrate. It's made of RNA, so we will be praying to change its molecular structure. The guy says we just need to change the so called conformation of this chain. Then it won't be lethal anymore, more like a cold."

“Remember, when something leaves your life, God is making room for something much better to enter! Get ready!” said Pastor White.

Trump Orders Coronavirus to Stay in China

Donald Trump has come up with a solution to the coronavirus epidemic. All individuals of the virus are now ordered to stay in China by executive order.

Furthermore, all Americans will be removed from China. The executive order blocks the virus from entering Americans while we are doing this.

To determine that the virus is obeying Trump's strict orders, Rudy Giuliani will be shaking hands with all the Americans coming back home. Rudy will be tested every day, just in case one virus happens to make it to his hand from China. Rudy will also be using GermX hand cleaner once every hour.

Asked about viruses already infecting Americans and some Europeans such as Italians, Trump stated he has no authority to block viruses infecting foreigners. Those Americans already infected will have to suffer the consequences, as his order is not retroactive.