With so many acts cancelling the concerts at the National Mall, Trump wants to assure his fans that there will be something to see.
To kick off each evening of concerts, except the ones past 4th of July, he will be the opening act, doing his famous YMCA dance.
In addition, he will be on stage for a few minutes each night with the headliner, such as Roseanne Barr or Kid Rock.
Doing the best they could achieve, a team at Heritage Foundation looked for a way to change Clarence Thomas' driver's license to Caucasian on the ID part. It was not apparently leagal. So the team got everybody together and did the next best thing. For his 34 years on the Supreme Court and hard work on the conservative principles (burn coal and make muillionaires skip all tax), they named Clarence an honorary Caucasian.
With dwindling crowds at Trump events, President Trump made the trip to Davenport, Iowa to pictch his "I stopped eight wars" speech to a boy scout troop, Troop 1231, and their adult leaders.
The boys all agreed that Mr Trump has earned the prize and should get the prize as soon as possible. All 22 scouts will be sending a post card to the Nobel Committee requesting this very obvious slight toward Trump to be corrected. He is their hero!
With his speech at Fort Bragg and other things on the schedule all done, President asked his stuff to find more distractions to the bad news with ICE legistaltion and Epstein dominating the news. He does not watch Olympics, though he has looked at a few skaters once or twice in news clips. What about the mice, a staff memeber suggested. So it was. There will be no research of any sort, even privately funded, on transgender mice.
The executive order also applies to mice being trafficked across state lines, such as from a university to a university. Transgender mice soon are not there anymore.
With Congress conducting oversight and other useless things, the President decided this is the time to remodel The Capitol.
The order also includes a Ballroom to the Capitol, to be payed by Jeff Bezos. Trump is asking Congress to fund the government to 2027 when he will thank them in his State of the Union message.
"Go home, you are not needed!" said Trump. He did not take any questions.
Donald Trump will give all Americans 2000 dollars for health "insurance." You just pay the doctor or dentist or pharmacy with that. You do not need the insurance companies.
It came to the President's attention that 20 million of the people that voted for him live in mobile homes. Another 20 million live in homes that have about the same value but also have the lot to go with it.
As a gift to low income home owners Trump will give you another $1500 for home "insurance." You do not need to pay for home insurance to insurance companies! If the investigation finds that you yourself burned down that mobile home, you still get the money. And Trump will sign pardons for most arsonists, provided "your mother in law was not inside the trailer when you burned it."
President Trump has pardoned serial killer Hannibal Lecter.
Summing up the tremendous changes he has achieved, Trump claimed that Joe Biden had 38% approval. He on the other hand has now after ten months a total of 538% approval.
Although Trump aced the Montreal IQ test, with a perfect score on the three animals...
Under severe penalty for disobaying, People of the United States must follow my Orders! I am the President and I can make life very hard for ALL OF YOU! Any of you born abroad may be deported.
Thank you for your attention!
With his attention drawn to the matter by Laura Loomer, Trump quickly signed the executive order banning liberal arts colleges. With her direction, some of them can be placed back in use in a year as conservative arts colleges. But really, education is over rated. Couldn't they just do some crafts and restoration of Civil War weapons?
Trump then left the room in his red hat to get ready for his trip with King Charles. He will look fine after the make up and hair.
President Trump has awarded the Medal of Freedom
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James Comer has spotted Wikipedia as too woke. He reported this to Trump, who told his henchemen to "take it down." They were to use fines and threats. Wikipedia has an article on Donald Trump. Wikipedia editors were told to edit the section on the 2020 election.
The section now reads that "the 2020 election was stolen from Donal Trump by Joe Biden and the Democrats."
The editors did not change the seprarate article on the 2020 election. It says nothing about it being stolen. But the link under Trump no longer goes to it.
President Trump addressed the National Guard units he set out in Washington DC before they took charge of the Capital.
"I'll give the whole combat team 50 bucks each if you find the Deep State out there. I know it's here, because where else would it be?"
He will then order a Seal Team hit on the Deep State. "We will be done with it once and for all."
Elon Musk has been quietly dealing with nations on the side, as Donald Trump worked on all the countries for tariffs. Musk has now bought the rights to the Moon from all the smaller countries.
With a trillion in capital and stocks, Musk has signed with all the Western countries to buy the rest of the Moon. He will be putting down 10% of the 10 trillion dollar price. Part of the downpayment will be financed. Trump Meme Coin made a substantial investment. Also, Social Security trust funds are now free from real investment, so The United States will "take a look at that" according to Trump. But in his mind they are just sitting there and "could be going to the moon."
Trump has also partnered with the United States for a 50/50 investment in the minerals on the Moon. The Trump-US partnership has made an exclusive contract for minerals on the Moon for the next 100 years. The Moon will eventually also be used as a processing site for minerals from Mars.
Concerned scientists and back yard astronomers were immediately concerned about the future of solar eclipses. Will the Moon get smaller soon? Will solar eclipeses ever be the same?
Tesla will be the exclusive buyer of Lithium from the Moon that the Trump-US partenrship will mine. Musk is responsible for the transport of minerals from the Moon to Texas. For this service, Musk will get the Lithium 50% off.
President Trump checks off this deal as one more landmark in Making America Greater Again. "China will never get any of the Lithium from the Moon."
Musk owns several major companies. His Boring Comapny will immediately be drilling a hole trhough the core of the Moon. "It will be exciting to see what is there." The hole will be small enough that there is no danger of the Moon falling apart. At least the engineers said so.
The Trump EPA has found a solution to the problem of electric cars. Cars must now produce carbon dioxide. Hydrogen buses are banned. Electric buses and cars are allowed, as long as the electricity is made by burning coal.
"Carbon dioxide is beneficial for plants, so we want to produce as much of that for our farmers as we used to. The windmills are now banned from any electricity that might go to cars. Also the word green is now banned for cars. In fact, even green paint will be phased out. I thank you for your attention."
Angry at all the terrible things Joe Biden did, Trump declared "Joe Biden Took your daylight savings away Nov 3rd. I am giving it back!"
Trump says you can enjoy your evenings now. "I will be playing golf a little later now. Maybe dinner at the club outdoors."
Annoyed at polls this morning, President Trump went directly to his 2024 campaign headquarters in Pennsylvania.
"I am announcing my campaign for president for 2028 now. Bad people are taking over this country. I need one more term to finish the job. I signed the executive order this morning to clarify the twenty second amendment."
Elon Musk has donated 50 million to the campaign and will be donating more after the 2026 midterm election.
Nancy, a long time Prevagen user, was shocked to hear all the Things Trump is cutting. She was not against feeding starving children in Africa. Children are a big part of Nancy's life.
"Why did I vote for Trump? I know I did, but I can't remember why."
Nancy also voted for Charlie, who no longer lives with her. She visits him nearly every day in memory care about a mile away.
Nancy started taking an extra dose of Prevagen for several days, hoping the reason would come back.
After nearly a week it finally came back. She only has one grand child and her daughter is divorced. Nancy takes care of little Sally a few hours each week. She can do it at their apartment or at her house. Her daughter works for Amazon from home. She makes website stuff, Nancy believes.
"So the reason I voted for Trump was that I wanted a sibling for Sally. She is three and I thought it would be nice now. I can take care of babies. My daughter does have a boyfriend now. So anyway, Trump stopped abortion in my state. He gives me the final chance to have another grandchild. I know I can talk Cathy out of an abortion out of state."
Elon Musk has found a way to cut excessive governement spending. He sent the contents of the Treasury to the Cayman Islands. It is all there in a single account in his name. Congress cannot spend the money as payments to the parasites on Social Security or to military salary any more.
