On Veterans' Day, Trump Claims 538 Percent Approval

 

Summing up the tremendous changes he has achieved, Trump claimed that Joe Biden had 38% approval. He on the other hand has now after ten months a total of 538% approval.

Although Trump aced the Montreal IQ test, with a perfect score on the three animals...

...and with dozens of difficult questions after that, he seems to be a little misinformed about approval percentages. The staff member had just added the approvals for each month and was looking to get the average. Trump interrupted her:

"No, I like that number, 538 percent." 

So Trump released it to his press secretary.

Trump Signs Executive Order To Arrest 75,017,613 Antifa Members

All 75,017,613 that voted against him are hereby named as Antifa official members. Trump has signed an executive order to arrest all of you.

There will be plenty of room in the camps after all the illegals are deported, all 1000% of them.

Trump Signs Executive Order Demanding People Follow All His Orders

Under severe penalty for disobaying, People of the United States must follow my Orders! I am the President and I can make life very hard for ALL OF YOU! Any of you born abroad may be deported.

Thank you for your attention!

Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Liberal Arts Colleges

With his attention drawn to the matter by Laura Loomer, Trump quickly signed the executive order banning liberal arts colleges. With her direction, some of them can be placed back in use in a year as conservative arts colleges. But really, education is over rated. Couldn't they just do some crafts and restoration of Civil War weapons?

Trump then left the room in his red hat to get ready for his trip with King Charles. He will look fine after the make up and hair.

Trump Awards Presidential Medal of Freedom to 51 Senators

 President Trump has awarded the Medal of Freedom

to all 51 Senators that blocked the release of the unredacted Epstein files to the public.

"Only in America do we have a chance to make a difference. In order to guarantee my freedom, I have awarded these senators the medals, symbolic of freedom. My freedom. A special thanks to Susan Collins."

Wikipedia survives after 2020 Election rewritten

James Comer has spotted Wikipedia as too woke. He reported this to Trump, who told his henchemen to "take it down." They were to use fines and threats.  Wikipedia has an article on Donald Trump. Wikipedia editors were told to edit the section on the 2020 election.

The section now reads that "the 2020 election was stolen from Donal Trump by Joe Biden and the Democrats."

The editors did not change the seprarate article on the 2020 election. It says nothing about it being stolen. But the link under Trump no longer goes to it.

Trump offers 50 bucks for National Guard to find Deep State

President Trump addressed the National Guard units he set out in Washington DC before they took charge of the Capital. 

"I'll give the whole combat team 50 bucks each if you find the Deep State out there. I know it's here, because where else would it be?" 

He will then order a Seal Team hit on the Deep State. "We will be done with it once and for all."