Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Spielberg Criticizes Camera work in Own Dream

Los Angeles, CA -- Spending time at one of their several homes, Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw were discussing dreams one morning. Kate had dreams that involved Sawyer, Mikaela, Destry and her mother.

Steven then began with a little bit of plot. The dream involved a drifter coming to town, a single mother and a corner store. Spielberg himself had only a cameo role. But the dream was vivid. Ten minutes later he was still discussing camera angles, fades and editing, when Kate started to express boredom. Steven quickly summed up the dream and stated: "Funny, this dream had no soundtrack. It needed a little more drama."

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Republicans To Ban Travel To "Foreign" Countries

Washington, D.C. -- Republicans have focused on domestic issues and Obama for the November election so far.
With the ebola crisis ongoing, the party plans to add a new issue to the campaign. Travel to foreign countries will be banned for the next two years. Goods will be imported, but no ship personnel are allowed to land in the USA. You may be able to drive to Canada for a while, but not to Mexico. All travelers will be allowed 30 days to get back home and stay.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Fat Lady made 49 Cookie Trips

Indianapolis, Indiana-- At the Continental Insurance Co, Beth the office manager brought in a huge tin of Danish cookies for the coffee area. Coffee was made 4 times today, but co-workers counted Tina, the fat lady, making 49 separate trips to the tin, picking one cookie each time. A trail of crumbs lead to her work area.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Minnesota Enacts Boater ID Law

Minneapolis -- Boaters in Minnesota will now need to be sober when boating a boat with more than a
2 hp or electric motor for lakes that require one.

The Boater ID does not need a test, but the boat owner is required to present the boater ID when asked and to take a breathalyzer test. Failing the test will result in community service. This consists of collecting beer cans and plastic from the lakes.

The boater ID will be accepted for purchases of beer, chewing tobacco and local elections. It does not qualify as an ID for national elections.