Sunday, September 27, 2020

In 2021 Trump Will Make America Great, But Will Also Win the 2016 Election as Well (Again)

 


President Trump says he will do great things for America in his second term. But he will also focus on the 2016 Democrats.

"The Democrats cheated in the 2020 election, and we had to throw out all those unsolicited mail-in ballots. Well, they did stuff like that in 2016 as well. We will go back and look at all the votes. Hillary did not win the popular election by three million votes. It was just Democrats voting twice. They do that, you know."

After that Trump will concentrate on putting all the losers that cheated in jail, as well as Trump team members that deserted him and wrote books full of lies.

Friday, September 25, 2020

Trump Fires Entire White House Staff, Keeping Only McEnany for briefings

 There are certain things Trump can't do without, such as Secret Service and kitchen staff, but he has fired all the staff to do with the executive branch, except for press secretary McEnany. 

"They were all losers, I had to get rid of them. Re-election staff is still allowed access to the White House." The work in the White House will be carried out by the Trump Family.

Melania will not be working with groundskeepers or anyone else between now and the election.

Asked about the various cabinet secretaries, Trump said "they can check out anytime they like. I am going to give them a two week salary. The cabinets will all be run by the assistant secretaries."

What will they do?

Trump: The cabinets will carry out essential services and will not contact me.

What will Eric do?

Trump: He will get a dolly to bring in crates of Diet Cokes from the kitchen to all our working areas.

Friday, September 18, 2020

Trump: Ginsburg was an old Democrat bag of bones!

 


President Trump has announced that Judge Ginsburg "was an old Democratic bag of bones and will be replaced as rapidly as possible."

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Man Planning to Get Up after Election

 Portland, OR -- Bill Haley is not depressed, he says. He just did not have anything to do in the Trump era. He would get up and walk around a few blocks once a day, and go down to the "cafeteria" for meals. But that was it. He never watched news. He says they watch one of them real estate shows where they find fancy homes for people with actual income.


So you will be better off with Biden?

-Well, no, I don't expect anything from Biden. But things will be different.

How so?

-Well, we won't have all those black lives marchers, plus the Antifa, or the Trump boys and not even those Trump federal goons patrolling all day. I can go down to the center and panhandle, or collect soda cans or play chess in the park. All that stuff I used to do.

You think Biden will have a calming effect?
-I know he will.

Good luck with that then!

Friday, September 4, 2020

Poll surveys 300 million Americans



The McMillan survey called 300 million Americans between 5:30 and 6PM today. They reached them at some 100 million homes. Some 200 million callers, mostly from Indian call centers, were employed to make the calls. The results are somewhat confusing. America told them to call back after dinner, or better yet, after the election. They will know then for sure who they think they voted for.