Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Trump Moves to Trump Tower, Cabinet to Fox News

Starting in June, when Barron goes on vacation, and Democrats are fully engaged in braking everything Trump proposes, Trump will move to Trump Tower again.

This will make it easier for him to transition to a life in New York. After he is convicted of financial fraud, he will be wearing an ankle monitor that allows him a few miles of movement. He will be visiting Fox News daily, as his Cabinet will move there. Each cabinet official gets a private office in the Fox building. The advantage here is that when each cabinet official is fired, they can be replaced from the Fox News staff. In Trump Tower, the President is not going to have a chief of staff, merely a scheduling secretary. He is interviewing some now, with applicants with big breasts in a pile of photos to leaf through. This is merely to impress foreign dignitaries visiting him in the tower.

They can work with their departments in DC by electronic means. The main challenge will be to put in secure lines to the DC offices and the White House.

Trump feels that the remaining two years of his presidency will be most easily handled from here. He has reserved three days each month to go over to the White House to "sign stuff." There won't be any legislation that he is going to sign anyway. Bob Mueller will have 15 minutes during each visit to interact with Trump.

Saturday, December 8, 2018

Bezos preparing for end of the world

Concerned that Amazon stocks will crash sometime in the 2020s and life as we know it will end, Jeff Bezos has been making plans.

He has already built his survival bunker. The problem is to stock it, as Amazon and UPS will not be able to supply it after the stocks crash. And pretty much all of civilization crashes.

Now, he knows there needs to be water. There is a deep well with a pump nearby, but that would require electricity. So he also has a supply of buckets, hoses and water filters on hand. All rain watere on the roof will be collected. He had Scott Adams and Charlie Daniels come by and give him some tips. Both stayed at the bunker while visiting. Bezos put up with their libertarian ranting while listening for actual tips. Two things came up with both men. What to do with the women in the bunker. They have to be given separate quarters, perhaps a separate bunker. Maybe with some cloth and leather on supply plus manual Singer sewing machines that you pedal with your feet. The solar panels of the bunker only provide enough electricity for the lights. The second tip was baked beans. Bezos ordered some right away. He has a secret  Amazon account under the name Frank Miller. Only the UPS delivery guy knows the beans are going to Bezos.  Here is the first supply of beans. He is testing it for 12 days in a row at his above ground residence. Then some preserved cranberries and apparently canned beets. You have to get your vitamins. And pills are unreliable. They leave out one or two vitamins at random.

Friday, November 30, 2018

Trump Practicing to be Schultz

After returning from Brazil, President Trump has been given a task by his lawyers. Trump will have to watch all the episodes of Hogan's Heroes where Schultz deploys his masterful strategy.

When faced with Mueller or any other part of the government, Trump will go a full Schultz response

I see nothing! I heard nothing!

Monday, November 26, 2018

Area Man Lives By Youtube

It's all there. Everything he needs. Jack Polanski no longer watches news or reads even on line news. Everything is in some Youtube channel. He might hear it on talk radio, not that socialist NPR, and then go right to Youtube to find out why Guatemalans are coming. It's Hillary's fault!

For instance, atheists are making pots to boil missionaries in and distributing them to primitive tribes:

Those are the engineers doing final checks on the pot.

Jordan Peterson has helped him with personal problems:

When life storms come by, happiness disappears.  You need his rules for life for success.

Caravans are approaching the Mexican border repeatedly, so we have to build the wall!

Global warming ...or cooling now in this caused by the sun cooling off. It does this all the time! It's natural. It's called the "grand solar minimum". It is going to last 400 years! Or is it 40? It's in the ice cores, the Maunder minimum! NASA and all those government people, before Trump, are wrong. We are going to see it by 2025. Little ice age coming.

If you change your own oil, nearly all car models have a simple procedure to zero the mileage on the meter for the oil change. It's the same rod you push to zero the miles between fillups.

Jack lives in Nevada (we are unable to give an exact location)  and gets some cold days. He works part time as an AC and heater repairman. If your heat pump blade gets ice on it, it tends to shake as the ice is never even. Shut down your heating and use a heat gun on the blades!

Keep it at least an inch from the metal grill.

You can also learn stuff you never knew on Youtube. Jack watched a video about cows grazing under power lines. The electromagnetic waves "do stuff in your brain" giving you anxiety. Jack lives in a trailer park with a high power line very close to it. He could move the trailer, but it is old and might fall apart. So he bought these devices to protect his brain:

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Universe now only 13.7 years old

Scientists at Stanford University in Palo Alto calculated the age of the Universe again and noted that previous authors who got 13.7 Billion Years got some decimals wrong. It is only 13.7 years old. That places it at 2004. All of history now turns out to be just a glitch in the space-time continuum. All events prior to that are now placed in so called Christian Time, which goes back to about 4000 B.C.

Friday, November 23, 2018

No more foreign units! Trump pulls out of Meter Convention

President Trump has an instinct for Science. When he heard of the new kilogram standard, based on Planck's constant, it was instantly clear to the president how that worked. "I'm very smart."

It immediately dawned on Trump that "we can pull out of the Meter Convention" signed in 1875 in Paris. The standard weight is kept there. The kilogram has been very unfair to the United States. "We are going to pull out and use our own weights and measures. The consumer side will all be gallons and miles and only the science folks will rely on standards at NIST, which are all ours now. We don't need that Paris kilogram or copies of it."

NIST, the National Institute of Standards and Technology falls under the Department of Commerce and thus Trump.

As a first step, Trump wants all his cans of Diet Coke to have the 222mL part covered up by tape, leaving only 7.5 oz in view.

And what about Planck? It related to energy and photons, which do not have weight. Trump will leave that to the science folks. He does not want to regulate their work too much.

In July 2017, the NIST measured the Planck constant using its Kibbe balance instrument with an uncertainty of only 13 parts per billion, obtaining a value of 6.626069934(89)×10−34 J⋅s. It can also be expressed in useful units, the J⋅s is equal to kg⋅m2⋅s−1

Trump is sure they can extract that kg out of there. "They showed me a video of their fancy new scale. It was like watching Star Trek." Kilograms, he knows, can be converted to pounds. "You multiply the kilograms by 2.20462. Even I can do it."  Trump pulled out his phone to show that it had a calculator.