Monday, October 13, 2014

Fat Lady made 49 Cookie Trips

Indianapolis, Indiana-- At the Continental Insurance Co, Beth the office manager brought in a huge tin of Danish cookies for the coffee area. Coffee was made 4 times today, but co-workers counted Tina, the fat lady, making 49 separate trips to the tin, picking one cookie each time. A trail of crumbs lead to her work area.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Minnesota Enacts Boater ID Law

Minneapolis -- Boaters in Minnesota will now need to be sober when boating a boat with more than a
2 hp or electric motor for lakes that require one.

The Boater ID does not need a test, but the boat owner is required to present the boater ID when asked and to take a breathalyzer test. Failing the test will result in community service. This consists of collecting beer cans and plastic from the lakes.

The boater ID will be accepted for purchases of beer, chewing tobacco and local elections. It does not qualify as an ID for national elections.

Friday, September 19, 2014

America Goes To The Mall

United States – Located at downtown and suburban locations, America decided to go to the mall today. There was not that much to do so America went there with a couple of friends. These friends pointed out Jeff Goldblum, who is a junior and really hot. He was looking at some little items in a stall. America had to talk her friends out of bumming a ride back home from Jeff. Alicia’s mom is coming to get the three of them at five anyway.

America then spotted the GNC store and went there for some protein bars. It is still winter, but America is going to do a 5K run on Sunday so this is all good planning. And they have the vitamins that lady at the counter is always pushing. She flirts with him a bit and is probably divorced. But America was not interested as he figured out she has teenage kids.

America was headed for the Brookstone store for some cushions for the car. They have to drive out of town to go to Florida and also to visit the kids. Harry is able to sit in the car for ten hours straight, but America needed some cushions to sit on, due to the arthritis in her hip.

The mall sure is full of people. America only wanted to get to the top floor of Dick’s for some coveralls he wears when working outdoor at the trails. It’s the stuff hunters wear. The hunters know how to keep warm. They have six miles of trail to restore before the scouts start using them in the later spring more extensively.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Remastered Hand-holding Songs Selling Well

London -- Hand-holding Songs from the 1960s by a group called The Beatles are selling well, reports" EMI". The albums that sounded good on LP and single now sound almost as good in their remastered form. The first four albums contained songs appropriate for the teens of the 1960s. Recorded at the time when toilets were banned from TV shows and moms and dads had separate bedrooms, the love songs often tell of "me" and "you", though one is titled She Loves You, a clever third person lyric for the times.

In the fall 2014 version, the LP's are rereleased in analog and MONO versions.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Miss America Becomes Brain Surgeon

Concord, N.H. -- Miss America Kathleen Sullivan from ten years ago was going to be "an astronaut, fashion model and brain surgeon." The first two careers did not work out, so she is now a brain surgeon in Concord.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Global warming useless

Global warming useless to London teen Rebecca: it does not tell her if she needs a sweater tomorrow.

"Like, I feel for those polar bears and all, but I have serious sweater issues this week," explained Rebecca.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Old timer sells book and CD

Baltimore--Book seller Ed Winston, 78, pretends to be interested in customer's book and CD while adding up $7.50 in sales. In his head he always thinks "it's all crap but if they want to pay for it."