Friday, February 16, 2018

Don't use taxes, use Thoughts and Prayers!

A secret committee of Republicans including most Freedom Caucus members recently discovered the awful truth: Democrats, for generations have been using tax money to solve all manner of social problems. Even this Obamacare mess. This has gone on for generations. The budget is tight. There might be some 10% more available for prisons, but in general, it will be THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS at least for the remainder of Trump's first and only term.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

These Trump voters, I get it now!

I was listening to some songs by my favorite band when I was a teen. Camper Van Beethoven. So there was this song about Reagan and nostalgia for that era. Like mike grandparents would have thought in 1949.

'Cause he's always living back in Dixon
Circa nineteen forty-nine
And we're all sitting at the fountain
At the five and dime

'Cause he's living in some B-movie
The lines they are so clearly drawn
In black and white life is so easy
And we're all coming along on this one

'Cause he's on a secret mission
Headquarters just radioed in
He left his baby at the dancehall
While the band plays on, some sweet song

And on a mission over China
The lady opens up her arms
The flowers bloom where you have placed them
And the lady smiles, just like mom

Angels' wings are icing over
McDonnell Douglas olive drab
They bear the names of our sweethearts
And the captain smiles, as we crash

'Cause in the mind of Ronald Reagan
Wheels they turn and gears they grind
Buildings collapse in slow motion
And trains collide, everything is fine
Everything is fine
Everything is fine

It makes perfect sense now. These white people in Michigan, when you could still get a good job at the car plant, have four kids, drive a station wagon to Disneyland once with them. The good stuff.  But boy, are they stupid. None of that is coming back. We can still fly to Disneyland or Disney World, but we have gun nuts, nuts of all sorts shooting people all over the place like that Orlando thing. And Los Angeles is full of homeless people if you go to Disneyland.

Friday, February 9, 2018

Sioux Falls going about life as if Trump never became president

Sioux Falls, SD -- The city will be getting over the last few weeks of snow and will be blooming and spring like soon enough:

Bob and Madge Johnson were at the supermarket Friday as Bob had knocked off a little early at the funeral home. There is a burial Saturday and he will be showered and ready for that, with his suit and earmuffs to stand by the grave waiting for the hearse and the client. Madge usually sleeps in but will join him for lunch. A few new customers will come by to select a casket in the afternoon. There are some issues with Madge getting good health insurance, but what the heck, it was the same under Bush and Obama. You have to buy insurance but eventually you die. They get a good deal on grave plots. The lowest price coffins will be free for them.

Eric and Ginny McCarthy will be busy with sports on TV and are here just for beer and chips. But Ginny talked him into a veggie tray as well. Eric is 42 and will not be dealing with any Trump issues this year. He teaches auto shop at the community college.

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

February 29th to be Trump Day

Planning for his re-election in 2020, President Trump has demanded that a day be set aside in his honor.

Consulting the people who deal with official commemorative days, White House staff have made a deal to declare Feb 29th Donald Trump Day. Since it is not appropriate to start that with a sitting president, the day in 2020 and 2024 have been set aside as special events. Trump is closing federal offices on those days and is giving the White House staff a day off on those days. In 2028 it will be officially called Donald Trump Day. Children will do Trump crafts on Feb 28th of that year celebrating his eight years in office.

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Tax relief planned!

Following the Republican tax cuts at the federal level, the president of Oklahoma “Taxpayers for freedom” Al Foster wants deep cuts in spending.

 His recent letter to a paper read: "We suggest a list of strategic budget cuts, establishing a comprehensive inventory of state functions for possible privatization, eliminating state income and sales tax exemptions, restoring tax-increment financing to its original intent, requiring every state agency and department to implement zero-based budgeting and requiring ongoing employee desk audits to decrease state employee numbers.

We have pointed the way for the Legislature to offer taxpayers needed property tax relief and to restrict spending. It is up to state senators to apply the will to accomplish these tasks."
Other details of the plan include pruning high school subjects to the essential only. “Teenage girls do not need to know about photosynthesis or the feudal system. They only want to take selfies and post on Facebook anyway. Understanding photosynthesis is not necessary for a cashier or a stocker at Shopko. If they work at Barnes and Noble, maybe. But they can read up on that in their own time.”

Thursday, February 1, 2018

1 Million foreigners came in to USA despite Trump

A million came in during Trump's first year in office. Trump has been doing his best to stop foreigners. Foreigners are after all the worst that happens to America. Except the ones that came in before 2000. And those that came in and won Nobel Prizes. Other than that, foreigners are bad for us.

But it seems that immigrants are made up of foreigners and there is some kind of policy in effect allowing those foreigners to come in. Trump is going to look into what that law is. Well, his staff is, whoever is still left.

Trump was going to have the FBI and CIA help him find and tag all the criminals trying to get in, but the FBI now seems to be part of the deep state. There are probably foreigners working in there!