Sunday, December 21, 2014

Copy Machine Requires Project Code For Every Page

Minneapolis -- Workers at Minnesota Energy Solutions LLC have had to adjust to a new procedure this week. It now requires the five digit employee number, project code and personal password to make copies. The password must have a number and a capital. Employees tried to save a dummy code the first day, with the project as Copy Machine and the other codes saved on the machine. Accountants soon caught on to that and made the IS department add new security to the machine.

On Thursday they ran out of paper and tried to use the hole punched paper in the back closet. But the machine rejected that paper as not appropriate for most projects.

It also ran out of paper on printing out the accounting reports. Accountants resorted to distributing the report on burned DVDs.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Tire Dealership Wishes You A Merry Christmas

Salem, MA -- The proprietors and mechanics of The Plaza Tire Service wish you a Merry Christmas from their hearts. This sincere wish was signed by Jim, Bart, Ray and Paul who hung up their
stockings in the waiting room. Hot chocolate with marshmallows and Folgers coffee is available all day every day. No purchase necessary.

Ray and Paul are bachelors who will spend their Christmas alone as usual. But they will cheerfully change your tire on Friday the 26th.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Expecting couple reject key-chain-name

Houston, TX-- 
Ross and Michelle McDaniel rejected their current favorite name for a daughter to be born in two weeks. They had just spent  the afternoon at a gaming and amusement center, where Ross’s employer, The Anderson Financial Group, had one large area reserved for the annual company holiday gathering. On their way out, they stopped at a Warner Brothers themed gift shop. Michelle was only looking for some nice baby clothes with colorful cartoon characters, when she saw the key-chain stand. "Ross honey, come right here", she said, holding up a key chain with the name Gabrielle on it. Ross was speechless, as they wanted an unusual name, such as Gabrielle. Previously, several months ago, Hannah and Abigail were rejected for the same reason. "We’ll think of something. I’m not approving Fiona or Bjork. We don’t even use umlauts here." Ross was unable to pronounce Bj√∂rk correctly.