Wednesday, May 17, 2017

White House has Official Worst Day

The day began badly. Trump complained about the orange juice in his breakfast. Then he got dressed and marched off to meetings.

In these meetings, Trump called for "someone to take notes", then sent the note taker out of the room. Kellyanne Conway had already locked herself in her office before the first meeting took place.

Each member of Trump's staff was in turn sent out of the room. Most of the meetings ended up with only Trump and one person left in the room. His personal assistant was called to bring in items about every five minutes. Each half hour a fresh Diet Coke was brought in. There were twelve diet soda cans in the Oval Office alone at noon.

"Bring me some pigeon feed," yelled Trump at two o'clock. He retreated to the Rose Garden to feed mourning doves for 45 minutes.

Kellyanne Coway left the White House shortly after lunch. Sean Spicer was just hanging out by the limo drivers outside. He has not had a task for days,

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Pirahã people learn one number

Amazona, Brazil – Sent by the state to keep good relations with the  Pirahã people, dance instructor Ricardo  Helio had a hard time teaching a group of fifteen teenagers the samba. The interpreter was not help, telling Ricardo there were no numbers in their language. That pretty much eliminated the foxtrot and waltz as well. Finally, Ricardo remembered a James Brown video. In it Brown hits the cowbell on the ONE of every measure. Soon enough all Pirahã teens were yelling ONE! on time. Not all could keep up with two three and four, but all managed the ONE!

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Republican Thinks Democrats Should Get Jobs for Insurance

Who do they think they are? Unemployed professors of medieval history, artists, poets, feminists!

I am businessman and a teacher, I started my own private school. You Democrats are just losers, so you will have to work for someone else. Go find a job! Target is hiring, if you think Wal Mart are capitalist pigs. That's how you get insurance. I'm not paying for any of yours now that we have Trump.