Wednesday, July 26, 2017

No room for Kottke LPs at senior condo or nursing home

Leo Kottke fans are getting as old as Leo, 70 or something. As a result, thousands of Kottke LPs are ending up at vinyl record stores this year. Some stores have noticed the piles of LPs left right outside the door, as the owners refused to buy any more of them, for any price.


The fans are still playing the music, some with headphones and iPods, a few with CDs and a boom box. However, almost none of the seniors have a complete collection. One man, Ed (75) in a Minneapolis nursing home held on to the crumbly Minneapolis pressing of Leo's firs album. "My son will take this, I now it has some eBay value. I did not want to sell it for the lousy 2 dollars.

The same thing has been happening with Zappa albums, but young men that hang out at vinyl record stores always cart the piles of Zappa vinyl found at the curb home to their apartments. The LPs stay there until sold on line.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Last Trump voter finds out that the man REALLY is stupid

Mike Campbell is the  last mature (age 38) Trump voter (see previous post for the young men) who discovered suddenly, while listening to the boy scout speech, just how dumb Trump is.


"Well, you know I'm a libertarian, right? So this is the first time I voted for a Republican. I thought he might shake things up a bit. And I really did not want Hillary, so I kind of just wanted her out. And I am glad she is history. But to my fellow libertarians, I'm sorry. That was very hard for me. I truly did not think it was going to be this bad. I was hoping some tax cuts and not much more. I hope he does not accomplish much and start any wars."

Monday, July 24, 2017

Working class lads making work for "the government"

Three enthusiastic Trump voters, the blue collar family kind, voting for the first time in 2016, are reaching out and making use of "the government."


The three work this summer for a landscaping firm in Ohio.  It's what you do in the summer with a high school diploma.  At lunch they stopped at a local park with sandwiches from Jimmy John's and some drinks. The Government provided a portable toilet.


"The Government" is a guy named Al who mows the area and picks up larger trash. The trash drum is across the parking lot where the nature trail starts. That was too far, so this is where they left the slurpies cups.

Should Al pick up after you guys?

"Sure, it's his job. I bet he has a pension plan too!"



Saturday, July 22, 2017

Songwriter Can't Live Without Her

Aspiring songwriter Josh Travis from Austin, Texas has come up with a song. Usually he plays James Taylor and Paul Simon covers at a coffee house. Now he is excited. It's got real feel!


"It's about what life would be like if I had to live without Jan, who I refer to in the song as you."

His musician friend Mike was a little suspicious. He had to hear a verse.

"That's it? And it goes C and E minor and C and E minor forever? And some sixths and sevenths?"

"Yeah."

"OK, it sound pretty good as far as the melody goes. But Josh, this 'Can't live if living is without you' stuff, you know it's not that novel. I think it was Harry Nilsson that sang it, or somebody way back."

"Really?"

"You should go the other way, like rip off some beatles song or something, these lyrics are pretty sappy and on top of that they are not new. You'll get sued."

"I never heard the Nilsson song."

"Doesn't matter, you will lose the copyright."

"So I should throw out the lyrics. What about Jan? She's heard it now."

"Throw out the lyrics."

Friday, July 21, 2017

It's always like this with Trump

A former Trump staffer claims the Trump presidency is exactly like the decades of business Trump has sort of headed as CEO.

"Of course the outcome might be different, but the steps so far follow the usual pattern. He smooth talks people, promises them stuff. Fires people left and right, leaves me to sort out the mess as he goes away golfing. At some point an army of lawyers is brought in. He fires some of them. They don't care, as they are usually paid. Sometimes they have to threaten  to sue him and then the remaining lawyers work it out."

"And then there are dinners. And parades. I can see he loves parades. He did not have those before."

"His pretending to like the common Joe blue collar, that is all fake."

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Ad Writer's first project: Toilet Paper

Fresh out of college, Stan McCormick, 32, landed a job at an ad agency. The first project he got was the dreaded toilet paper account. The client is a long time toilet paper maker. Ads have evolved from the old days of squeezing to strong and other properties. What am I going to do with this?


First he had to watch a dozen of the old commercials. The main decision is whether to use cartoon bears or people in the ad. That all depends on the grand concept he comes up with. The concepts involve getting "clean", "underwear" , "strong", not clogging up the sewer pipe.

The strong one is the easiest to copy and spin into a new theme. Have they used Rapunzel yet? You know, the guy climbs up to her window on a rope made of toilet paper. Seems a bit complicated.  And will it use animation? Animation can be tricky as they need outside help. Live action is just talking to a director and being on the set a few minutes each day and looking at finished takes.

He thought they could use the strong theme, with the wet paper and a banana on it. "Too sexual", said Jane, his boss. A lemon? "We never use lemons, makes the product a kind of lemon as well."

Stan was left in the company machine shop at the end of the day, looking for heavy things to place on the toilet paper. Why couldn't they just give him the paper towel account instead?

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Trump will make the Doctor pay for visits to him


Trump: I thought I would solve this problem once and for all. We've been having nothing but trouble with healthcare, and I then remembered my last exam. The doctor buys those disposable shorts guys have to wear in bulk. Then he charges me ten bucks for it. I'm going to make him pay.

Kari Report: How will you do that?

Trump: They got paid plenty during Obamacare. I'm signing an executive order as soon as I get back from Europe. The doctor will pay your bill each year up tot the first 500 bucks. Then if you are still friendly to him and impressed with his or her work, then he can charge a small fee for the rest of the care that year. I'm thinking maybe 80 bucks tops for a general practitioner.

Kari Report: Is that constitutional?

Trump: Who cares? I'm fed up with the Constitution. I can't get my Senate to work.

Kari Report: Those are Senate rules. They are not in the Constitution.

Trump: Get me someone. Pence! Who do we get to whip the Senate in shape? Can you do it?

Pence was not found at the press conference or left as soon as he heard the word "senate."

Saturday, July 1, 2017

He speaks how I feel

So said one woman in a video. Some 40% still stubbornly support Trump in polls. I just wonder how they feel about supporting him now. They may not personally lose anything, but Trump has created zero jobs.