Trump orders NSF to initiate and fund Phlogiston study

President Trump has been reading old texts in French and English written by Priestly and Lavoisier in the late 1700s about this so called oxygen. Trump found astounding errors in their measurements. "These studies are wrong and are all related to the greatest errors in chemistry. There is no oxygen. Even the FDA has faked all the formulas of drugs. I want this fake science exposed. Do the phlogiston study again!"

The president is so smart that he immediately saw that this is the right way to think about science:

The metals are obviously produced when fire acts on earth, or top soil minerals. Every foundry works based on that. "I want that study on my desk at the end of February and the seal of the NSF attached to it."

After this President Trump wants alchemy revived and we will be making gold out of lead in no time- make America great again, with gold!