Trump to use helicopters and plastic handcuffs to deport foreigners

President Trump this week feels completely overwhelmed by judges and Democrats limiting his powers to deport foreigners that infest our Southern states. These people come from countries somewhere to the south of Mexico. He wants to send them back. “I’ve had some calculations done and for the price of resettling one refugee in the United States, 12 could be resettled in a safe zone in their home region.”

While discussing his recent trip to Minnesota, Trump noticed that he was not using the Marine one fleet of helicopters much. When he uses them abroad or some locations here, they always fly three Marine 1 helicopters. There must be some more.

“How many more of these do we have?”

“Thirty five total, sir.”

“How far do they go?”

“About 300 miles and back.”

Trump then quickly moved to put together a plan. He only needed the helicopters, maybe 100 national guard men and plastic restraints.

“Clear out the cargo areas and put out some sort of cushions for the Mexicans to sit on. Fly them all 300 miles South of the border. Give them all a one liter bottle of water when you drop them off.”

“They are not Mexicans and this does not take them back to a safe zone in their own county.”

“Close enough.”