To beat Trump tariffs, Chinese now using common earths to make cell phones

Faced with trump tariffs and lesser sales in smart phones, the Chinese cell phone industry has come up with a strategy.

Instead of indium, lanthanium and yttrium, the cell phone makers will now use common earth elements for the devices.

"What's in the new phones?"

"There might be some rare earths, as we just scoop up whatever was in the gravel pit behind the factory that we used as waste pond before. Some rare earths went in there. We think uranium will be a glowing success, but we suspect a lot of it is just silicon dioxide and calcium, you know from the hard water."