Trump Will Tax All Viruses from China

In an unprecidented move, President Trump has announced that he will tax all viruses from China. "This Coronavirus, it is Chinese. We are going to tax it."

"We are going to use American viruses from now on. We have our National Institute of Health working on a new virus to replace the Chinese Coronavirus. When we develop our own virus, we can develop the vaccine for it at the same time. Distributing the virus and then vaccinating all our people will provide a tremendous income for America. We will also make ours safer, so you can travel in an airplane. It will not affect most working age Americans. It will only infect people who are buying Chinese goods."

But sir, most of our consumer goods come from China.

"You will have to buy shoes and things made in Vietnam. And get those Samsung phones. Samsung Electronics is running six mobile phone manufacturing facilities in the six countries of Vietnam, China, India, Brazil, Indonesia, and Korea. So I will get a sticker put on all those phones made in China."

To achieve the taxation, all people tested positive for a Chinese virus will pay a 500 dollar fine.