Thursday, April 21, 2016

Trader Joe's Refuses To Hire Philosopher

Farmington, MA -- Area philosopher Matt Geiger, 25, has applied at the local Trader Joe's stores every time there is an opening. Currently he is working in a shoe store near one and is on a first name basis with all the clerks in the store. Sometimes he goes in there to straighten out the produce packages and sweeps coffee off the floor near the coffee grinder.


He has the experience and is friendly, but has figured out they discriminate him because he has an MA in philosophy and has never used his degree. "They even employ dropped out chemistry majors, failed architects, auto mechanics between jobs, you name it! I feel there is a corporate policy against philosophers. I've asked around, they never hired one that I know. One psychologist."

Meanwhile, the corporate office denies any discrimination. One of the employees thinks there is a bell curve approach to hiring. "If you fall outside the bell curve in three things, like former salary and stuff like that, they do not hire you."

Matt was even willing to change his snappy dress style to a more relaxed baseball cap and shorts all year. It seemed like a desperate attempt. Shoppers at the local store have started treating the young man with the suit jacket as an employee, and are not aware of the conflict.




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