Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Trump Staff Stumped

Looking for the problem this week, going into Trump's last three three months of campaigning, the staff was unable to explain what happened. Looking for a culprit, only Trump was found.

Comments at the last staff meeting, without Trump present.

- Now that we have him reading the teleprompter, he seems to have lost the last bit of charisma that he had for the followers.

- Can we kind of schedule some slots in there where it just says IMPROVISE and a topic or word to go on?

- He kind of sounds like George Bush, but a few Believe me's added.

-Here's the stuff that worked:
"Why can’t we use nuclear weapons?"

"I’ve been treated very unfairly by this judge. Now, this judge is of Mexican heritage. I'm building a wall, OK? I'm building a wall." 

"We won with poorly educated. I love the poorly educated."

"We're gonna bring businesses back. We're gonna have businesses that used to be in New Hampshire, that are now in Mexico, come back to New Hampshire, and you can tell them to go f**k themselves. Because they let you down, and they left!" 

-What about New Hampshire? Can we work on that? Can we just buy that state?

-Can we do something with pick up trucks?

Can we spin some more of these Sarah Palin stream of conscience things? Like:

“The LGBT community, the gay community, the lesbian community — they are so much in favor of what I’ve been saying over the last three or four days. Ask the gays what they think and what they do, in, not only Saudi Arabia, but many of these countries, and then you tell me — who’s your friend, Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton?" 

-what have you got, Bob?
-I got...nothing. Florida?

-Any wild ideas? Anything!

-Gene Simmons to introduce him at every stop, in full KISS outfit. I hear he has small hands, he might do it. Or Ted Nugent, if Gene turns us down.

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