Trump to sign order to eliminate Red Knots and save fishing jobs

Mr Trump claims he is a bird lover. But he only likes resident birds that do not migrate to Mexico and come back to take worms from our robins. He stated all that last year:

Trump Join Audubon

Now it was brought to Trump's attention that environmentalists want to save Red Knots. These are migratory birds!

They just come by and feast on horseshoe crab eggs in Delaware and move on to nest in Canada. They are just foreigners without a visa.

The problem is that the knots need to eat horseshoe crab eggs from the beaches. Our fishermen have appealed to have their catch of the crabs raised to as many as they can handle. "There's unlimited crabs," says one lobster fisherman. Trump believes him. After all, what do biologists know?

"Now I do not eat lobster or crab", said Trump, "and they probably sell them to a lot of Democrat lawyers and politicians, but it's a business. I support the lobster fishermen." Trump refuses to eat the cockroaches of the sea, but is quite flexible with sitting at a table where other good citizens eat them.

The fishermen catch the adult crabs

and then cut them up to use as bait in lobster traps.

If the horseshoe crab population is reduced further, the red knot population will starve on their way to Canada. There is no optional rest stop for them along the coast.