Professors Outplaced into Lawn Care by Walker

Madison, WI -- With most of the union problems gone, Governor Walker found a unique Professor Placement solution. Since groundskeepers are no longer unionized, the problem of tenure loss (which Walker engineered) no longer is a problem. All the previous groundskeepers are laid off and the professors losing tenure (at this time, it seems all staff over 55 years of age lose tenure and new hires no longer have tenure) are to be trained as groundskeepers.

"Football provides income and the other sports fields need maintenance," remarked Walker. The various departments will be allowed to rehire their professors for one semester at a time on a sort of "sabbatical" from the mowing job but with the same salary as the professor earns mowing.