Scientists locate tens of millions of stupid people

Palo Alto -- Scientists at Stanford were studying the behavior of voters in the last five presidential election years. The opinions of 10 000 random voters were followed on a weekly basis. The results were astounding. Based on the results, there are tens of millions of incredibly stupid people in the USA. Lead scientist for the study Hal Wellington states that there might be even 100 million Americans who can barely handle a four way stop sign, let alone an election. "It appears that the election is made easier by there being only two presidential candidates. But if you give them 

1. a Democrat,
 2 a Republican or
 3. sausage pizza, 

they will pick three." Based on this, either candidate should therefore offer a sausage pizza for every family, if they win.